Hidden Power of Reciprocity

I dropped by to see Greg right around Christmas '06. He was recovering from having his second hip replacement that same year. I handed him a small gift as I left. He wouldn't allow me to leave without returning with a gift of his own.

He struggled upstairs to get me his personal copy of an anti-aging book he was pouring through. It contained recipes, exercise regimens, before-and-after photos, and product recommendations. From all the side notes he made on the pages I knew this was one of his prized possessions.

Like most of you-I didn't expect anything in return. I wanted to thank him for being an inspiration. A simple acknowledgement would have been enough. I was touched to see him go out of his way to return the favor.

I have always heard it's better to give than receive. It's true. People are overjoyed and much friendlier and happier when they get a gift-especially if it's a surprise. They act like they've just swallowed a Happy Pill.

But is there something more powerful at play?

Let's look at another scenario...

When we were hit with the recent wildfires during October, I had to bail. Charles took me in. I spent the night at his place. It was either there or at the massive Qualcomm Stadium-home of the San Diego Chargers.

Charles later invited me to come back the following week to watch the opening night basketball duel between the Utah Jazz and the Golden State Warriors. I felt an obligation to go. Refusing would have made me appear unappreciative of his earlier favor.

Did I really want to watch the game? Not really. It wasn't high on my priority list. But something inside suggested not to fall from his benevolence.

So what compelled me to comply?

It's the great social equalizer called The Law of Reciprocity. When someone offers you a favor, you feel compelled to return that favor with one of equal or sometimes higher value. It's a powerful law that can exponentially grow your business. It derives its power from the fact that people don't want to be labeled a moocher or a cheapskate. People will go out of their way to protect their precious self-image.

Let's view another example...

Have you ever been invited to sample some new product at your local supermarket? The server behind the cart passes out those bite-sized portions of food on toothpicks. You know those are freebies, and there's really no obligation to buy.

The server asks you a question and you begin a conversation. Then she insists you take another piece. You really don't want to because that might suggest you owe her something in return. But you don't want to appear impolite-so against your better judgment, you help yourself to another sample.

Now she's got you...

You feel a tinge of guilt in your gut. You feel compelled to buy the product even though it wasn't on your shopping list. The server gave you something and you didn't give anything back. Similarly, as is the case in all casinos, the house usually wins.

After repeatedly falling for this technique, you've learned your lesson. You'll switch on your internal force field. Nothing can penetrate through from now on.

When you see another sample cart, your radar starts blipping. You speed up to turn into the next aisle, look the other way to avoid eye contact, or pretend to decide between the tomato or basil pesto sauce.

That's the powerful Law of Reciprocity at work. It doesn't let you go until you give back. You feel an obligation to return the kindness. It almost accuses you of theft if you don't.

Retailers, direct marketers, sales people and even non-profits use the power of reciprocity to conduct their daily business. It stacks the odds in their favor.

Picture the Salvation Army bell ringers. As you exit the store, they smile and wish you a nice day. Even if you opt not to donate eighty percent of the time, they get you for twenty. That's twenty percent that could have stayed in your pocket.

How to apply the Law or Reciprocity in your business with integrity...

Speaker Mary Ellen Drummond gives away complimentary one-hour coaching sessions during her presentations. No strings attached. And she hands everyone a signed copy of her book: Fearless and Flawless Public Speaking. She knows this small investment can grow her business exponentially.

As a business professional, can you put together a gift or a package with a high perceived value that positions prospects to seek you first when they're ready to purchase? Maybe you can offer a phone consultation, a critical how-to report, or something related that solves a problem or adds value to their lives. Using the Law of Reciprocity with integrity in your business can create a constant stream of new customers.

Tommy Yan helps business owners and entrepreneurs make more money through direct response marketing. He publishes Tommy's Tease weekly e-zine to inspire people to succeed in business and personal growth. Get your free subscription today at www.TommyYan.com.

If you're a speaker, trainer, coach, or a consultant-the major challenge you face is connecting with your audience. You talk, shout, or recite your message while they are dreaming about dinner.

Their eyes are glossy, their minds' elsewhere, and their bodies ready to bolt. You don't have a lot of time, so you've got to grab their attention fast. Or else, you'll die wrestling against audience resistance.

But it doesn't have to be this way...